The Answer

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“Are we making the right decision?” The question hung in the air after I’d posed it, dead air on the other end of the phone.
“…Jason, it’s over. You’ve hurt me enough, the only thing that is holding me together is sticking to our plan,” my wife’s voice on the other end finally responded.
“I’m so sorry, I’d do anything to fix it.”
We seemed to have this same conversation almost every evening. My wife would phone me up as I sit in the room downstairs, cataloging our assets, trying to sell them to pay for the divorce.
“Sorry isn’t enough. I wish I’d never met you, I wish I hadn’t chosen you, I wish you’d never been born.” She ended the conversation.

Whenever I have space from my wife, I’m haunted by the memories of our good times together and all that I know I’m giving up, our sometimes happy little family. So, I often ask, “are we sure about this?” But, every time the answer is the same: it is out of my hands. This is the only path forward. I’d broken our life and our family, and it was too late to go back. Every day more trinkets, old love notes, photos, and jewelry show up on my nightstand, all gifts I’d given her. I’ve yet to figure out what to do with them, I can’t give them back, and I can never throw them away, I can’t throw away our memories.

All that is left is to sell this stuff, pack my things, and fill out the packet the lawyer gave me. Just everything feels so hollow at this point. My emotions are tangled in knots.

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8 thoughts on “The Answer

  1. It will get easier my friend. It seems like the harder the times, the best memories come to the forefront of our minds, but you can’t continue a relationship based on happy memories. I had to learn that one the hard way with my ex as well…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You know in the back of your mind it’s for the best. I know it’s hard when there’s happy memories but it’s best to move forward so everyone can heal. Heal the wounds and be happy again, somehow. I know from what I’m going through I can hold onto the happy times all I want, it doesn’t change the person that they are now. I think you know what you’re doing is right and best for all involved, especially your son. Always here, always listening. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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