A Careless Whisper

Gotta keep writing here, even if it is just some sterile update. Couple of fails lately. A few of days ago I got an email out of the blue from Anne, asking me to come over the next day:

Please come see me tomorrow! I’ll be able to host you anytime hopefully! I have somewhere to be in the morning and then I’m hoping I can have you buried deep between my legs.

Girl can be such a horndog, I love it. I hadn’t heard from Anne in close to a month, much less seen her in how long? Certainly not since December, perhaps even November, I can’t recall now. No matter, I emailed her back to confirm a time for meeting up. Well, turns out this email was a reply to an email I’d sent back in late January and it just now reached me, so sadly the meeting was not to be since she couldn’t host this week. She wasn’t lying, a quick examination of the message header (yeah I know, I’m such a nerd) showed she’d indeed sent it January 24th and Yahoo’s mail server (her server, not mine) sat on it until March 7.ย Damn cock-blocking Yahoo mail. I gave her my Kik and Google Voice number to hopefully avoid this issue again, I’m surprised that we’d stuck to email as long as we had being she was my first and most consistent AP.

I was supposed to meet Nancy yesterday, but then her husband decided to stay home from work sick. Later on, she asked if I could meet in the evening since her husband was going out again, but unfortunately I couldn’t. So, we have a tenuous meeting planned for next Tuesday.

In other news, I rewrote my Tinder profile, I figured it was getting kind of stale and could use some dressing up. Much more succinct and forward now. I’m even now thinking of rewriting it to make it even more forward. With the character limitations it is hard to explain my marriage situation (I keep that short and simple), talk about what I’m looking for, express some interests and personality, and explain what limitations I have. I’d like to be up front since I do have particular time limitations given that I can only really meet during work hours which would make me little more than a fuck-buddy. I’m not sure I can even count as a friend with benefits given my limited time. I like how my third paragraph came out in term of expressing my interests:

My interests: Murakami, Vonnegut, Proust, et al, old movies, classic rock, beer, scotch, & beckoning to you as I sprawl naked on a bear skin rug next to a crackling oak fire while playing a careless whisper on my ย sax

No, I can’t really play saxophone, but figured that line would make a nice conversation piece, and I was proud that I managed to fit all that with 1 character to spare. Since the update three days ago I’ve had 5 new matches, so, maybe it worked. Though, my match last night, a 20 year old Amazon (6ft tall) nanny-student, just wanted to shoot the shit and find out why I’m cheating on my wife. Of course, we’d chatted and flirted for practically an hour before she told me this. In any case, it was a fun conversation, but a bit of a let down since she was pretty. She unmatched me late last night.

I also gave Bumble a go. If you haven’t heard of it, it is kind of an off-shoot of Tinder, but heavy handed, Draconian, and female-centricย in its approach. In Bumble, you match just like in Tinder, but only those with female genitalia can send the first message and initiate the conversation. This appealed to me actually because I prefer they initiate the conversation, that way at least I know they’ve probably read my profile and know what they are getting into, so hopefully no uncomfortable “OMG YOU’RE MARRIED! ASSHOLE!” stuff later. Trouble is that Bumble also has heavy handed requirements for images you can post on your profile and elaborate algorithms for weeding out images that don’t meet their standards. Pretty much it wouldn’t let me use any of my pics because they don’t show the face. Shame, just a quick look through looks like there are a ton of cute girls on there and less spam and crap like on Tinder.

Looks like it will be a busy weekend with some friends coming to town. Been fighting illness in the house. Wife and I have been getting along off and on, having a good time with our son as he makes developmental leaps and bounds. When times our good between us, sometimes I think, “we make pretty good friends, if I just have my sexual needs satisfied on the side, this would be great.” Of course, as soon as I think that they next day she’s pissed at me about something and the arguing ensues. But, I understand, there is a lot of extra stress in our life right now. We hold it together and we’ll get through it, for now.

F’n George Michael.


15 thoughts on “A Careless Whisper

  1. Omg, that fucking mental image of you playing careless whisper on sax. Yum. Why is it when I start thinking that X isn’t so bad, he does something to piss me off or we fight or he’s acting like a piece of shit asshole? I swear they can read our minds! I hope not though…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you approve ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Yeah, I’m not sure what it is with spouses. Just have to chalk it up to our nature, we always revert to the status quo. Marriage seems like a treadmill, you keep walking but you ultimately stay in the same place. I wouldn’t worry about them reading our minds. If my wife could do it I’d be long dead and buried by her hand given that she can’t stand the thought of me glancing at another woman. If she read my thoughts, dear lord…

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, I hope you picked them some good matches at least ๐Ÿ˜› I can see it now, “Hey, I don’t remember matching with this bald dude posing in his underwear with his beer gut hanging out, he’s sent my like 15 messages telling me all the dirty things he wants to do to me, you didn’t accidentally open up Tinder when I let you borrow my phone earlier, did you, Quinn?”

      Liked by 1 person

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