The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
Life has taken a turn for the weird lately. I answered a very bizarre ad in CL. I wish I could find the text of it, it was basically an incredibly ambiguous (yet beautiful) poem, definitely an odd thing to find in w4m. I answered anyways, with my favorite quote from William Blake, figuring this gal was probably just super high:
If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.
This is the quote, by the way, that gave Jim Morrison his inspiration for the name of his band, The Doors. Well, this lady thought it was an awesome quote, and we proceed to talk about writing and poetry, etc. But, she is so damn intense, and ambiguous about everything. To be honest, I couldn’t tell if she was just plain crazy, or really passionate about writing (is there a difference?). I couldn’t seem to bring her down to reality, and I told her honestly that she was freaking me out a bit. I mean, here is an email excerpt:
Craigslist is like an ocean and my post is a small but powerfully magical fishing net.It sends out a signal that seems to mesmerize the sharks, dolphins, octopi, and whales. Of course other fish get caught in the net and it’s all alright.But the truth is I can’t even really tell you what I want. I mean I DO know but it’s really quite fragile and to expose it to judgment could be highly detrimental to it’s survival. I just need to BELIEVE it’s possible.And because I tend to oscillate between the views of Dr. King and Malcolm X, I know that if I am to get it I must be willing to do so BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!
I respond with: “Lol, sounds like you are recruiting for a revolution, but can’t decide if violence is the answer or not. Trying to recruit an army of sex-hungry men to take on the world are we?”
And she basically answers, ‘yes’ and is really excited that I get her, except I have no idea what the fuck she wants. I’m just a simple married dude looking to get laid, I’m not looking to take on the government or whatever the hell is going on. She sends me her pic, but seems to think I’m going to reject her because she assumes I’m racist against black people. Honestly, I’ve never been with a black woman before (a white girl, an Asian, and two Latinas have been my experience), but I’m not opposed to trying. But, not really with this girl. I know you can’t judge a book by its cover, but the shaved head and dresses like a boy kind of threw me. Perhaps, but she is just a bit too much for me, so I backed out of the deal and told her I probably wouldn’t be able to provide the raw passion she is looking for.
Next, we come to the transsexuals. I hit up another ‘girl’, turns out she is a not so attractive transsexual (though he claimed ‘passable’). Super awkward. ‘She’ basically looks like a boy with just a little bit longer hair, man’s face, man arms, man everything. Not sure how to let this guy down easy, so I tell him that his female friends must be jealous of his flowing hair. And we talked about Pokemon for a bit until the conversation lulled and I hope it doesn’t start up again. And ‘Mommy’ is stalking me again. She seems to be able to pick out my CL ads with great success. She hit me up to whine about how I wouldn’t come over and pound ‘her’ ass. I wished her well, but told her I was a terrible slut and not worth her time. Hopefully that will be the end of it.
Finally, I seemed to find a real woman the other day (the kind that possess vaginas at least). We talk a bit, she seems interested in a casual hook-up, and doesn’t mind that I’m married. She is mid-twenties, thinks I’m hot. The first point where I notice things are getting weird is when we talk on the phone. She sounds stoned out of her mind, speaks very slowly and slurs her speech. She talks dirty to me a bit, but I’m walking the halls at work so I can’t exactly speak back, so I switch back to text with her. Second suspicious thing is she keeps asking for more pics, but refuses to send me any, says that talking on the phone with her should have been enough to prove she is real. Finally, I tell her firmly I need a pic before we meet, she sends one. Well, she sends a pic of her on a bed with very robust naked cleavage hanging down. Damn, well, she looks hot at least, and I vet the image of course and it seems legit. Finally, we start arranging a meet up. At first she insists that I book a private tub at a local spa that night. Well, no, nights don’t work. Back and forth, back and forth, I finally convince her to do a hotel room with me. We come down to it, decide on that afternoon, but then she springs this on me:
“Ok yeah that’s fine. BUT… i will ONLY come have sex with you if you meet my friend first for a body massage.”
“Huh? What friend?” What is going on?!
“My friend from college. He just wants to give you a body massage. He is young and friendly.”
This was the final straw for this one, it was getting way too weird for me. I mean, why does she keep insisting I need to get a massage from this dude before she’ll have sex with me? I don’t even know what kind of fetish that is, but I didn’t have the time and wanted no part of it. I finally just have to tell her ‘no’, I’m not going to get a massage from your friend. So, nice waste of a ten minute phone conversation and a thirty email exchange.
Finally, something promising though, I met an interesting Gothic girl on OKC that I was talking with the other night. She’s a very pretty late teens/early twenties gal. Her pics and profile scared me a bit at first, but once we got to talking she seemed pretty down-to-earth, I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover. We’ll call her ‘Triana’. We talked about how much we were enjoying the rain, and I flirted a bit of course.
“i love the rain a lot! it’s so lovely, calling n peaceful. i’m enjoying every minute of it! ” She said.
“You have the right idea, just need someone to cuddle and share it with now 😉” And I don’t overuse the winky face contrary to what some readers say, I used it once the whole exchange, she used it about three times!
“right? rainy weather is the perfect cuddle weather”
“Indeed it is! I’d be right over, but pesky wife thing y’know?”
“very pesky lol”
There seems to be some chemistry there, and she hasn’t rebuffed my advances. We have a rain check for the cuddling, so I’m hopeful it will turn into something more.
So, must be the lunar phase lately. But, the one girl that looked a bit crazy seems to be the down-to-earth of the bunch. I’m no stranger to crazy, but at least let it be crazy I can connect with on some level.