The search continues. The silence of the past weekend and week has broken a bit. Elle resurfaced yesterday, a bit behind schedule, I think she is going through some life changes now that she is out of high school and starting college. Anyways, it has been interesting starting over with her, I have made no mention of our previous interactions since she gave me her new name (perhaps this is the real one), but there can be no doubt of who she is. We talk like old friends. We transitioned to a chat app out of CL mail and chatted over the course of the morning and afternoon. She is as lewd and horny as ever it seems. I’ve made a concerted effort to stop talking about my past affairs, particularly Sierra, with potential new partners. I slipped up a little bit, but given that I don’t think Elle will ever overcome her anxiety of meeting me in person, it hardly matters, if anything, maybe it will light a fire under her ass since she always acts jealous when I’ve mentioned my wife or other women. She was practically salivating when I related a few of my more lustful encounters with Sierra. At least she has moved out of her parents’ house and has a place of her own now, but it seems the only thing that is stopping her from inviting me over is anxiety, as before. When I ask if she actually wants to do anything with me, she is emphatic about the answer being yes, but when I asked when, she is unsure and non-committal, she just talks about being anxious to meet me, but talks about us as if we are already an item. Perhaps she really is anxious (in which case if she is this anxious she should probably see a therapist), or perhaps this is just some odd fantasy of hers. But, with all the time she spends chatting with me, I can’t imagine what she is getting out of it unless she really does want to meet me at some point. At some point I imagine she’ll disappear for a few weeks to months and then resurface as is the usual cycle with her. I’m not sure why I waste time with her at all, probably just overly wishful thinking.
More matches on Tinder, I’m up to 10! Still, I’ve only messaged with 3, I don’t like to send the first message and it says so in my profile. The girl (the one who cheated on and broke up with her boyfriend) that I was chatting with a fair amount has disappeared without warning. We are still matched, but she hasn’t replied to my last message in days. I matched a very scary looking 18 year old on OKC as well. I’m not sure how to classify her, she is a bit of a hipster/goth with lots of a piercings and a queer identity. I’ve hung out with such folks before, but never had sex with someone that has an abstract gender identity (though this girl looks feminine enough). To be honest, I’m more comfortable with some that is identifies with a traditional gender classification, the unknown is a bit scary to me. I may message her and perhaps I’ll be more comfortable than I think. Seems there are some really out their folks on OKC, Tinder seems to be a bit more of a ‘normal’ crowd. But, once again, who am I to judge? I don’t mind leaving my comfort zone a bit, provided these girls can be accepting a cis-gendered bacon-n-red-meat-eating shitlord such as myself.
On CL, two replies from married women! From my experience, married women are unicorns on hook-up sites, so two at once surprised me, they emailed me within hours of each other. I’m taking it slow with them, emailing back and forth. One hasn’t said much. The other is a lady in her mid-forties in an open marriage. It would be interesting to go from affair partners who are a decade younger than me to an affair partner who is a decade and a half older, but I’m not opposed to it. We’ll see where it all goes.
Lastly, my most promising lead is a girl from out of town, a latina in her mid-twenties, we’ll call her ‘Lisa’. Of all things, she is getting married in a few months and is coming out my way for a bachelorette weekend and she wants to have a little fun before being tied down to her fiance. A little odd, granted, but she seems very interested. We set a date for next Friday, you never know, may happen. She did give me a bit of an ego boost in our correspondence, I don’t get many of those, so I’ll share it with pride: “you’re a very handsome man, your wife is crazy to not want you ever day.” Girl doesn’t know what she is getting into getting married, but I tried to warn her, still I’d be happy to get a dance with the bride ahead of her wedding.