I have always had more dread of a pen, a bottle of ink, and a sheet of paper than of a sword or pistol.
It was a busy weekend I’m afraid. The rain has been coming down like crazy lately. One of my absolute favorite things about modern technology is reading in the dark. The other night the rain was coming down incredibly hard, wife had gone to bed, so I sat up in the living room with all the lights off, just a drink and an eBook with my tablet in nighttime reading mode, just a dim black screen with gray text. It is almost like sensory deprivation in a way, the white noise of the rain all around and just a small bit of light peaking in through the windows and hardly any light from the screen. Very meditative and soothing, you feel lost, floating in space and time.
I had a post I started at the end of last week, everything came to a head and I needed to write a good long post to get all of the toxic bile out of my mind. Writing can be like drawing poison from a wound sometimes. It worked; my mood and clarity have improved immensely, but the post was so vile I didn’t want to post it until it was edited (it was an appalling mess besides). The time to edit it never presented itself, I’ve had that happen before and once the moment is passed the passion to finish it is gone, usually those drafts just end up in the trash. But, it was an important post so I’ll try to go back and finish it sometime. It was a lot of self-discovery even if I didn’t particularly like what I found.
The trickle died down to nothing over the weekend. All those lukewarm responses went cold. Since the beginning of the week I’ve had 1 CL ad response, and a short message on OKC. There are a few contacts I want to catch up with though (particularly Jenna), but work has been incredibly busy as well this week. Surprisingly, my Tinder has blown up a bit, I now have 6 matches which is a record for me (and none of them have chewed me out thus far). I talked with one a good amount last night. She’s a very pretty mid twenties latina, just had her heart broken by her long time boyfriend because she cheated on him with a married man. Also, a single mother I’ve been messaging on OKC sent me a brief message to show that she is alive, but I’m not holding out much hope for her. I don’t know what it is, but something makes me fantasize about single mothers. 9 times out of 10 they ignore me though, I imagine most of them want something long term, but the idea of one of them desperate for a good fuck seems to turn me on for some reason.
A ghost from the past emerged today. One of my colleagues finally found one of Sierra’s notes that she left in his office. It was a notecard that read in black marker: “Jason S. likes to play”. Obviously, my coworker found it a little creepy, I assured him someone must have been playing some kind of prank. I still haven’t found a way to get the semen stains out of my office chair from her wiping her vagina all over the place (I’ve tried all the tips I could find on Google already). I’m loathe to get rid of my favorite chair though, it is hard to find a comfy office chair that doesn’t leave you with back pain. Crazy girl, she certainly knew how to leave her mark.