Either Way

All human wisdom is contained in these two words – Wait and Hope

The glitches in the matrix continue. The day before yesterday I got chewed out for being an adulterer (that one wasn’t nearly as creative, just the usual “you’re a piece of shit and should give your wife a divorce, etc”), and yesterday again when this love letter appeared in my inbox:

I give exactly zero fucks about you

You’re a married dickless loser who probably can’t give his wife a decent fuck

Fuck off and try to grow some hair on your chest and grow a couple of inches

Try and actually find an attractive pic and get the fuck out of here before I get you blacklisted on CL

Paraphrased and cleaned up for grammar. In any case, I’m flattered that they took the time out of their busy day to share all this with me. I used to respond to these types of messages, but no longer. I used to defend myself to these kind of people, but why bother anymore, I am who I am, I don’t expect anyone to like it. So, deja vu on the cheater hate front, I’m hoping it doesn’t come in three’s.

We are entering a new stage that I’ll dub the ‘lukewarm’ stage. Gina and I texted a bit the other day, but she hasn’t spoken to me since I mentioned that I have a kid (she seemed to be fine with me having a wife, but I guess the kid was crossing a line). Minda has been less and less active texting me back and forth. Perhaps she is leading me on? She will sometimes text in the afternoon to see what I’m up to, say she wants to meet me in a little bit and wonders if I’m free. I say I am, ask her what time and where and she goes silent. Yesterday, she said she’d like to meet Monday when she is off work, which doesn’t work for me since I’m off work too so I’ll be with the family. I asked her for another day/time, but once again, no response. Really reminds me of Sierra in this regard, before we met, she’d act interested, but very flaky, that all changed after we met, but up until then she was all over the place like this. Who knows, this is an experiment, I haven’t told her I’m married and she hasn’t asked (maybe she is married since she also seems to want to meet during the day and doesn’t share much info). Also, that would be the most logical conclusion if she is telling the truth about having not had sex for a year (ironically, when else does that occur except in a marriage).

I decided to dig through my email and see if I’d missed anything, maybe try contacting a few girls that had disappeared without any apparent warning (you never know, sometimes emails get lost, or things happen). One girl, we’ll call her ‘Jane’, said she’d emailed me a pic but I never got back to her. I never got the message, so I’m guessing she exceeded the CL attachment limit. Anyways, we got it sorted out, she is a pretty early twenties girl. Only thing is she is a mute lesbian, but she has never been with a guy and was curious. She seemed nice enough, we talked for a bit, but she said she was too nervous unless I was willing to do a rape fantasy role-play (I’m not sure how that makes sense, besides, her being mute it isn’t like we could have a safety word). I’m not willing to do a rape fantasy, but she kept talking anyways and we exchanged a few more pics, and discussed why we are both attracted to women. We ended on a good note, but I messaged her again yesterday and haven’t gotten a response. I also dug out a few more old threads that seemed promising before the holidays happened (who knows, things get busy around that time). Both got back to me, said they’d gotten busy, we messaged a bit, but I was getting a lukewarm vibe. I guess this is to be expected pulling old emails out. If they were hot for me in the first place they wouldn’t have disappeared. Another more recent girl seemed promising, we made plans to meet, then she asked me if I’d be ok with a MFM threesome. Threesomes don’t really interest me, so I turned her down, but if she wanted to do something 1-on-1 I’d be interested, she seemed at first, but only if I could host, which I can’t. I offered a motel room, but no response. Seems my schedule and inability to host costs me more than anything.

So, nothing really happening of late besides getting chewed out for my poor life decisions and lukewarm reception from girls I’ve been conversing with. But, it is the natural ebb and flow. I did it for a year before I found Anne and Sierra. Discouraging as it has been thus far, nobody knows what is up around the next bend.


4 thoughts on “Either Way

  1. Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. It’s easy to be a rude asshole to someone over the Internet. Don’t think into it too much. Sorry on the lack of girls lately. I’m sure you’re a gorgeous man and these girls just don’t know what their missing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True enough, I try not to let it discourage me. To be fair, I’ve had more legit responses since Sierra left than I had in almost a year of searching before Anne, so I think my strategy has improved at least. Thanks for saying, but given the sausage party that online dating is, unlikely for most girls to give me a chance, anyways I hope you’re right and I’m good for someone when I find them.


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