What About You

The weekend dragged on. I’ve been getting too wrapped up in this whole cheating thing, sometimes it becomes my life. I realized it, that I’d just been biding my time until something happens. I live in this ridiculous lurid fantasy where every thought and action is based around some romantic desire to be with another woman. Other than that, I’m just an empty shell, doing chores around the house, playing with and caring for my son, trying to spend time with my wife that doesn’t involve senseless arguing. This tends to happen when I start to get hopeful, and I know I need to come back to myself and remember that there is more to life than sex, romance, and this blog. My desires are hardest to resist when I’m corresponding with beautiful women I’d like to be with, and there seems to have been a lot of that lately.

Last Friday began with me texting back and forth with the NSA lady, we’ll call her ‘Minda’, from the night before, she seemed intent on meeting that afternoon at first, but then communication dropped off. Reminded me a bit of Sierra in that regard, guess just a hesitancy of meeting someone? I’m not sure, but I’m more and more suspicious of this one lately, but I’m always suspicious of women who claim to want an NSA fling. And it isn’t my top priority anyways. The Latina teen, we’ll call her ‘Gina’, from the previous night also got back to me, she texted me on the number I gave her.
“Hey it’s gina 😉”
“Hey gina, it’s Jason, how goes it?”
“Just relaxing Wbu? 😉”
Kids these days overuse the winky face, but she accompanied that with a shot of her lying on her bed in just a bra. I am especially suspicious of people so free with face shots, but she could just be naive, it was the same girl from the photos (none of them as dirty as this one) she’d sent previously, and I’d vetted all of those and they were as legit as legit could be, so if this was a scam, it was a very elaborate one. We did some sexy texting, she kept sending me different angles of her on her bed in her bra, she really did have an amazing body. I felt a bit dirty talking to this girl, it reminded me of a tragic news story, there was this guy who is facing murder charges for leaving his infant son, who sadly died, in his car on a hot day while he was at work of all places (there is reason to suspect it was intentional apparently). Having an infant son myself, the very thought made me physically ill, I’m not sure how one forgets to drop their kid off at day care and drives with them to work and leaves them in their car seat, hot day or no. The part of the story that ignited some extra outrage on social media, was the guy was married and sexting an 18 year old girl while he was at work and his son was dying in the car. Just to be even sharing in an aspect of this man’s disgusting behavior made me ill at that moment. Still, I asked Gina if she’d like me to come over, she said she would but not that day since her parents were coming to visit.
“But it’s okay daddy another day 😉” she said and sent one more shot, this time a finger on her tongue and leaving nothing to the imagination as far as her sizable bosom was concerned. Guessing she is just another tease.

But, I did find an old friend on OkCupid, turns out the girl who I’ve been talking to there was Jenna who’d responded to one of my CL ads a time back when I was still going through the Sierra business. She’s the only person with any physical proximity to me that reads this blog (that I know of), but she was a fellow writer and blogger so I had to share. We’ve become fast friends I do believe and I really enjoy talking with her. I’ll leave it at that for now.okc.png

Over the weekend I worked my second job. I’ve been moonlighting as a private contractor plying my old trade (basically fix anything that involves movement of electrons). There has been this one girl I haven’t mentioned, she’s hit up several of my ads on CL regularly. She is a very pretty teen, but looks like she is working as a call girl, since she was asking for money within the third message. I turned her down of course, I’m really only interested in someone who is interested in me for me and not my wallet (which only contains a cartoon fly that spirals out when I open it). She has been messaging me so much that I finally asked what she is charging and why she is doing this. She says she needs money fast because she is in trouble and told me the charge would be based on how handsome I was. Always the vain one, I sent her a pic and she told me $100. Seems a bit low for sex to me, but in any case, I told her I wasn’t interested, wished her luck, and said she should go donate blood and plasma for some easy cash. The weekend comes around and she messages me again, this time she says $50. That was a tempting offer indeed, especially since she said she could host, but I still wasn’t quite sold on sex with a call girl. But, try anything once? I was out and about doing my jobs, so I had an excuse. But, when I found out where she lived I could see it wasn’t going to work out, it was over an hour drive and so an hour there an hour back and probably an hour at the place, I knew I didn’t have time for that. In any case, I didn’t have to make a decision to pay for sex or not because it wasn’t feasible.

Now it is Tuesday and everything seems to have gone silent. I’ve read that women who live in the same house eventually end up having their menstrual cycles match up. Sometimes I wonder if there is some sort of collective hive mind of menstrual cycles going on on a larger scale. They say some women have heightened sexual desire during ovulation. It seems I get tons of replies to ads and other forms of contact all at once, and then silence for long periods of time. I’m curious if each shotgun blast of responses perhaps has some level of correlation to ovulation of the women involved. Of course, there are other factors in the pattern, for example, CL ads seem to get more replies in the middle-latter half of the week, around Thursday and Friday, I think from women looking to get something setup for the weekend (of course, weekends don’t work for me). But dating/hookup apps like Tinder and OKC seem to receive the most activity on weekend evenings (also not prime time for me). Perhaps I should start a spreadsheet of all this, for science of course.

Unfortunately, I feel I’m wandering through the desert lately, and all these oases of women showing interest just turn out to be mirages. I’m trying to refocus on more enjoyable things than chasing mirages, music, books, writing, movies, and friends. Innocent pleasures just leave me feeling unfulfilled now. Maybe I’ve just become a junky for the thrills I knew in months past, and it is hard to go back to the way things were.


6 thoughts on “What About You

  1. Once you get a taste of this life, it really is hard to quit. Almost like a drug. A high that we are on. Curious, does the daddy talk bother you? Some men are completely repulsed by it and others enjoy it. I certainly don’t want to be thinking about my father while getting fucked into next Tuesday.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It used to bother me, but seems to be common with these younger girls who are interested in older men, somehow it seems to fit and not bother me anymore. But, I’m also a decade or more older than these girls, probably would be stranger if I was closer in age or it was an older woman. I don’t get it myself, I remember one time I was fucking Sierra on a hotel bed and while she joked about the remote possibility (of course it is beyond impossible) of me being her father since I had just hit puberty around the time she was born and that is when she told me her mother was a school teacher, some girls just get turned on by this sort of thing I guess.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What? You overuse the winky face!!! lol
    Anyway, I share feeling of searching for pleasure. I ask myself if there is something fundamentally wrong with me, if my body has wonky levels of hormones, different than the average person. I feel I need to go on adventures or cheat or have passionate sex for by body to be at its homeostasis.
    I had to learn to curb my self destructive tendencies through these “innocent pleasures” you speak of. Dancing and drawing give me “flow”, some sort of zen where I am freed from my overthinking brain. I write a lot (other than this whole blogging thing) which kind of allows me to do the opposite, I organize all of my thoughts. I run pretty much every day which gives me focus ( I think of the moment in Fight Club where Brad Pitt is giving Edward Norton the chemical burn on his hand and he keeps trying to go into his “happy place” but Brad Pitt isn’t letting him, he is making himself feel the pain) I focus on and feel the pain all over my body. Essentially, I need to physically and mentally exhaust myself to be at any kind of equilibrium. If I am not mentally and physically exhausted, I am searching. And when I am searching, I often find trouble.


    1. Correction, I overuse the 😛 face 😉

      I hear you. I am not one to run from painful situations. This has been something that has been discussed on this blog a fair amount, sometimes I’d get suggestions that I should leap directly into a new relationship to mitigate the pain and loss of the previous, but I decided to face it down instead. I think that was the better approach for me in the end, I know that is not exactly what you are talking about, but that’s my take on it. Now that the pain is resolved I can search for a new relationship at my leisure without feeling forced to find one just so I don’t have to feel the pain. Thanks for your perspective no it, oh, almost forgot 😉 😉 😉 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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