Ex Cathedra

Disclaimer: this was a hastily written post. Some of my readers have noted my unfair and unbalanced treatment of my wife. You’re right. These events happened, but I have omitted many of the nice positive things my wife did, sorry, I was just trying to vent a bit! Not that that excuses some of my wife’s poor behavior (but I had a share of poor behavior too).Β Just understand that bias as you read.

The holidays are starting to wind down, I’ll be able to get to work tomorrow and catch my breath finally. Unfortunately, I don’t get a moment’s peace or privacy at home. If the baby is awake I’m working on projects, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of him. The helpless in-laws in town aren’t helping matters either, it means double the work plus serving them at every moment. If my wife catches me taking taking a break to look at a screen or sit down, she’ll just give me some new task to do. She needs to extinguish idleness at the first sign lest it take root. In the evening I’m so tired I hit the pillow and go right out.

I’ve read that many women wonder why men take so much time in the bathroom, sitting on the throne. Lately my wife’s been wondering the same thing. I best not tell her it is the only place I can get a moment of peace (even then she’s banging on the door within 5 minutes, but I she doesn’t seem to say much if I just tell her I’ve had some stomach issues with all the rich food). I really see the value in having a man-cave, perhaps one day I’ll convert part of the garage, but undoubtedly that will just lead to more of my wife complaining to her friends and family that I’m just a lazy idle weed who sticks her with all the chores and responsibilities around the home. I feel like I’m living in a bad sitcom, I can almost hear the laugh track in the background when my wife gives me a jab or my feeble, obese in-laws make some ridiculous request. I’ve gotten angry and given them what-for in the past, but it hardly does any good, best just to do what needs doing, the holiday will end after all, eventually.

I have been writing this post for over the course of two days in my spare minutes in the restroom and while rocking my crying son. Haven’t really had much time to think, which is probably a good thing considering the recent events. I feel about ready to explode if I can’t sit quietly and do my own thing for just an hour or so, but that isn’t going to happen, so I’m biting my tongue and not causing a scene while family is in town. How tame the domesticated man appears, but the heart of the wild still beats in his heart. I think everyone has forgotten that I still have blood coursing through my veins, but I have to be patient and bide my time.

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13 thoughts on “Ex Cathedra

  1. Jesus I know the feeling. The label of lazy is often applied to me by Wife. It really doesn’t matter how much I do, it only matters if something didn’t get done. And seriously marriage is a team sport! It doesn’t help that she’s a complete extrovert and doesn’t recognize how important downtime is for me. Thank god I have so many projects in the garage. Sometimes I just sit down there and listen to music and close my eyes.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have done my dammdest not to be this type wife. Perhaps because it’s all I saw growing up and what eventually tore my parents apart.

      But then I’m sure my mom wasn’t fooling around on the sly, so which of us do you think is worse I wonder…

      Liked by 2 people

    2. My wife and I are both introverts, she knows how valuable downtime is, but she figures if she isn’t getting any, then I ain’t getting any either, even if there is opportunity for me and not for her. Really sad because when the shoe is on the other foot and I need to work but she has opportunity for downtime, I encourage her to take it and not to worry about some project that she could be doing. I just don’t get it sometimes…

      Liked by 2 people

      1. In a give/give relationship, both parties are always considering the other person’s needs. When that happens then your needs are usually met because the other person is only worried about you and vice-versa. It does work. As much as I have my problems, I can say in all honesty that we always have put the other first when it comes to most things. Consideration and putting yourself in your partner’s shoes for perspective is paramount. A learned skill though with much selflessness in the beginning. And only works if you both commit to striving for it. Anyway, we are both introverts too, well I’m an extro/intro mix, but I get this all too well in regard to how precious time alone is. xo

        Liked by 1 person

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