I was busy with Church events most of the day. I’ve felt butterflies in my stomach, feverish, and been dealing with headaches. I decided there must be some anxiety I’m internalizing, so I decided to try to take a break this afternoon and hang out with Saul. Plus, I’d feel better giving my best friend some priority over hooking up. He came over the house. I’d been digging through the garage, and I found an old friend, my old hookah water pipe. It wasn’t really mine strictly speaking, Saul had stolen it from our Arab friend’s dick older brother. This guy was a real ass and would do shitty things all the time, so we didn’t feel bad at the time. In hindsight, I wish I’d given it back to him, I probably would now if I knew where he was. This thing was beautiful, legit, handmade in Jordan, it was tall, and quite ornate. Unfortunately, most of the hookah supplies had gone missing or gone bad, we made a run to the nearest smoke shop which had a piss-poor selection (nothing like the smoke shops in the city). But, we got the bare essentials, some flavored hookah tobacco (sometimes referred to shisha), coals, and a new hose. Soon we were sitting in the living room and blowing out thick clouds of sweetly fragrant smoke, drinking tea, and chatting, just like old times. We mostly talked about the singularity. My personal feeling still is that humans may never achieve artificial super intelligence or strong AI, it may just be the over-optimistic dreams of our transhumanist friends. No question, massive amounts of automation are likely in our future, but achieving digital consciousness I think may just end up being a pipe-dream. Saul isn’t exactly sold either, but is mostly concerned if religion will still exist if we manage to upload human consciousness to an pure information format. I’m pretty sure it would. Fact is there will always be unknowns, things that cannot be known or fathomed, or touched by science. Religion will always be there to fill in the gaps. Even transhumanism, naturalism, and philosophical materialism can hardly be differentiated from religion in many ways. Just because they are dressed up in lab coats, doesn’t make them any less dogmatic in their postulations and assumptions. Not sure why I’m going here, I guess, I’m less certain of the human journey through life than ever. I’ve always enjoyed learning about alternative theories, even when I was a Christian. But, back then it was largely to prove them false. Crossing the line into a “sinful” lifestyle has put me in an interesting position where I’m forced to live a life of continual contradiction. I know cheating is immoral, but so is being selfish, and hating other people. Justice warriors single out the easy sins to attack, the easiest being adultery. There aren’t enough murders and rapists out on the loose to find, so adultery seems to be the next best thing. We adulterers aren’t going off to jail for our sins, so we live among the general populace, the worst offenders allowed to walk free. We’re easy targets. But, these days I’m not too concerned with that, I’m concerned with how to rectify the contradiction in my life. I’ve discussed this in too many posts to repeat everything again here. I think I’m just rambling today.

Apparently, I must have really rubbed Sierra the wrong way, or something happened with her. I haven’t heard from her since we talked last night. Just when I think I have some idea of what that girl is going to do, it always turns out I’m dead wrong. Looks like it is going to be a lonely night. I had trouble getting up the gumption do make much progress on the honey-do list, but I did make some progress at least. But, I have my Tinder profile finished finally and I started matching. It was fun at first, dreaming of these many pretty girls getting back to me. But quickly got tedious, I don’t know how many hundreds I swiped through. I got two matches, both spam bots. So far, a bunch of work for no return. I finally called Sierra, but she didn’t pick up, I sent her a silly text, now that I’ve stayed up past my bedtime, nothing left to do but hit the hay.


2 thoughts on “Singularity

  1. This makes me happy to read that you have someone to help get your mind off of things. With me, I lost like 10 pounds in the course of 10 days over my initial anxiety of my choices. I don’t get like that so much now, but gawd it can suck. Once in a while I still get that emotional internal upheaval…good thing there is plenty of wine and vodka in the pantry 😉

    Liked by 2 people

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