Defeated

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.

Pretty darn sure Sierra is done with me. I can’t say I blame her. Despite the mother incident yesterday, over the last week she has been distant, when I asked her about it she says she didn’t respond to a few of my texts because they were ‘sub-par’. Today, I asked her if she wanted to meet next week and I’d get us a hotel, all I got back was one word: ‘gross’. Seems like most of her texts have been one word lately. I don’t know what happened, but I can’t help but feel she’s found better options than me lately. She didn’t answer my call again, and isn’t being very communicative, so I’m not able to get a firm answer one way or the other.

I’ll check back with her later, but I’m not holding out much hope. I’m feeling somewhat indifferent to it right now. I think I’ve dealt with the inevitable loss several times over already. It does sadden me because Sierra was the best I’ve ever had (in my limited experience), the sexiest, the hottest, the horniest, the most fun, the most exciting, and it seems that the unfortunate timing of my cock not working right ultimately destroyed the absolute perfection of it all. If it ends like this, I could see myself regretting this the rest of my life, I don’t even know how to let it go. Really, it still isn’t definite, so who can say. Our last plans were to spend 2 or 3 days together when my wife goes out of town in a little over a week, but it isn’t looking good at this point.

Point is, now is probably the time to start moving on. I’m not really feeling like putting myself out there again right now though. No, now is a good time to chill for a bit, read, focus on work, smoke my pipe and a few cigars and have a few drinks, work out, spend time with family and friends. I’ve had wonderful mountain-top experiences, some heartbreaking pit-of-despair ones, but now is the time to let go, I’m sure I don’t need the extra stress going into the holidays.

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12 thoughts on “Defeated

  1. Part of me is sad to see her go. The other part is a wave of relief. That girl was going to get you into trouble. Which is probably half the fun. Double edged sword. Sorry you’re feeling down. Give it some time and then get back in that horse. You’ve done it once (twice actually), and you can find another one.

    Liked by 1 person

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